Joy

Here are 3 meditations I did recently on the subject of Joy.
First
This morning I went to my exercise class. It is fairly intense, and I often have an emotional release, especially when I double down on my efforts instead of just getting by and trying to make the time pass… The class has high energy music and it sometimes makes me cry. This time it was Aloe Blacc – Wake Me Up. It made me BAWL.
I am finally getting my divorce after 3 years in a deep struggle and it has been a journey through the underworld for me. I gave up everything I had created and became a half time mother to my young children. It has been an excruciating passage. My divorce comes through on June 8. Finally. I am done being a co-dependent. I am done being invisible and with a life that was superficially “supporting” me while I was dying inside. I am finally home to myself. I am exhausted but I am smiling.
Second
Breathe. Clear. Center. What is Joy?
I am in love with a wonderful man. He built me a garden. It is blooming with arugula, chard, kale and other babies. We nurture the garden together. We eat the little leaves. He loves me like I have never known in all lifetimes. I would have never known this if I hadn’t left my husband. Tears of joy come to me whenever I allow the gratitude to flood over me. My sexuality is awakened and it is SAFE to open to love. This is the greatest JOY i have ever known!
Third
Going deep into my body to sense its aliveness. It is tingling with sparkles and light. This is the true nature of being. There is nothing outside me but the joy of being still and allowing myself to enjoy being in a body. I love my sweet body and it is a joy to be reminded of how alive I am! Everything external is temporary. The only thing I have is the knowledge that this body carries me through this lifetime. It has been so good to me.
What is your joy? I invite you to ponder this topic in your life.
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